AP Literature Summer Session

Yeah, it took forever for me to retach my limbs from the martian prison, I could only hope that I will be forgiven.
annnnnnyways....
Book Five started out with little Alyosha going to visit the Kholkjoikhojvaaaaaaas. Katerina was unconscious because she isn't cool enough to be conscious. Alyosha talked to Lise and she said that she really did love him and that she wanted to get married to him and her mom was like "NOOO! BOOOM! YOU WONT GET MARRIED! GIVE ME THE LOVE LETTER!!!" and started foaming from the mouth because she secretly has mad dog disease. Alyosha had his rabies shots so he quietly refused and left their house. He then met his brother Ivan who is really a robot at a restaurant. Ivan is a robot because he wrote this really long poem the was kinda pointless but seemed to memorize all of it, and only robots could do that. So he told Alyosha this really long poem and Alyosha said that he didn't believe in God, blah blah blah for about a thousand more pages then he finally left. Ivan the Robot is leaving to Moscow to join his robot friends in the national robot convention to plan their plot to take over the world. He met Smerdyakov at his father's house who has mad guitar skillz. Ivan the Robot is somehow mad at the Guitar Hero and has his heat ray ready to melt him to the bone. However, there is a malfunction in his heat ray and he can't melt him so he makes a mental note to fry him the next time they meet. Guitar Hero is stupid and tells him their secret knock system and Ivan the Robot goes to sleep. He wakes up and Fyodor asks him to sell some land to this one guy but Ivan the Robot doesn't want to do it because if he did then he would miss his train to Moscow and therefore miss his coveted national robot convention of the Allied Robot Organization of Russia and if he missed that then he wouldn't get to see all of his other poetic robot friends and they wouldn't get to eat holographic chicken. And Smerdyakov the Guitar Hero played too much guitar and started having seizures, so he had to cancel his world tour. To be continued.